You said WHAT to a Pregnant Woman?!

Kathryn Gibbs Photography

There is an myth of how fragile the emotional state of a pregnant woman is. That she is difficult, angry and just plain crazy. I agree with some of it. I wasn’t the difficult, hard-to-please kind of crazy; I was more the ‘cry-at-the-drop-of-a-hat', over sensitive kind of crazy.

When you break it down, between the hormones, fear, joy, exhaustion and anticipation, she doesn’t know how to feel. I can attest to that. I was pregnant with Mason, in my first trimester, over Christmas in 2010. We hadn’t told anyone yet, so I was trying to keep in the crazy. I remember watching TV with my mom and bawling at a Canadian Tire commercial. I couldn’t even speak about the commercial or I would tear up. Anything sentimental would open the floodgates.

Here is the video:

Another reason some women are seen as crazy or over emotional can be from the unsolicited tips, questions and comments from strangers, friends and family. I found this list of what not to say to a pregnant woman from parenting.com. 
The top ones I experienced were:

• You don't look that pregnant! (Trust me...I am.) 
• Are you going to nurse/cloth diaper/co-sleep…(It’s my choice regardless.)
• Can I touch your belly?

Believe me when I say you’d be lucky to be asked permission. Many people seem to think your baby belly is public domain. Imagine rubbing theirs back? I bet it wouldn’t go over well.

In case you are trying to compliment a pregnant woman; here is another list of tips on what may be insulting. It may not seem like a big deal to you, but there are many sensitive subjects! Check it out here from Huffington Post.

This isn’t meant to discourage complimenting a woman at what can be considered the most beautiful part of life, but tread lightly. She means well…try carrying a watermelon under your shirt for months with all the lovely side effects, and forget seeing your feet…

Keep strong mamas, and those who deal with mamas, it will all be worth it!

-A

Frabz.com

Words of Wisdom

Molly Mesnick's Shower

I went to a baby shower this past weekend. They had a book in which you could write advice for the first-time mom. It very much made me think, what would I tell myself 2.5 years ago? I’ve compiled a few tips that I wish I had known, or had listened to, when Mason was born. (And in some cases, when Sebastian was born.)

Cleaning can wait. The laundry, the dishes, the toys, anything, can wait. I knew too this but felt I had to accomplish more than just taking care of the baby. Now I think…WHAT?! More than JUST taking care of the baby. Right, because it’s that simple...give yourself more credit!

Mason - 2 months old

Sleep when the baby sleeps, if at all possible. There is actually science behind it! Check it out. Sleeping at the same time is much easier with one baby at home of course. With Mason, I napped like a champ whenever I could. Once Sebastian came along, I had a newborn and a 19 month old…that was a different story. Take it when you can.

Be present. Put down the phone/tablet/laptop, turn the TV off and enjoy. These moments are so fleeting that you need to soak it all in. This doesn’t mean you need to photograph every second of their life either. Get a few great shots of their first step, the mess they made trying to eat or whatever it may be. Then look up and enjoy.

Sebastian's first steps

I know these all sound cheesy and typical, but they are so easy to forget. Those were the tips I left for my friend. Here is some more great advice I found from cafemom!

What would you tell a first time parent?

-A

Boy vs Girl: One vs Two vs Three

As a mom of two boys, the two questions I am asked the most often are:

When are you going to have another baby?

or

Are you going to try for a girl?

Via Momtastic

The truth is…some days I want another baby, other days I have more than I can handle with these two! My response:

“It depends who you ask.”

Hubby isn’t so ‘on-board’ with having another. With time, money and the future pending, he is afraid to take on too much, and rightfully so. I have been on the fence. I love my boys with all my heart, but do occasionally wish I had a little girl of my own. Not to model her after me -or some narcissistic reason like that - but more because the relationship I have with my mother. It’s special. It’s something I can’t imagine sharing with a boy. Who knows. I could be wrong. And I hope I am.

When struggling with whether or not I want another, and how I may feel if it would be another boy, I found a great piece on it from scarymommy.com. 

For the women who are sick of the usual milestone questions:

• When are you getting married?
• When are you going to have a baby?    
• When are you going to have another baby?

Know that we are all right there with you. To those who pose those questions…let’s back off a little ok? We’re busy living our lives here.

-A