You said WHAT to a Pregnant Woman?!

Kathryn Gibbs Photography

There is an myth of how fragile the emotional state of a pregnant woman is. That she is difficult, angry and just plain crazy. I agree with some of it. I wasn’t the difficult, hard-to-please kind of crazy; I was more the ‘cry-at-the-drop-of-a-hat', over sensitive kind of crazy.

When you break it down, between the hormones, fear, joy, exhaustion and anticipation, she doesn’t know how to feel. I can attest to that. I was pregnant with Mason, in my first trimester, over Christmas in 2010. We hadn’t told anyone yet, so I was trying to keep in the crazy. I remember watching TV with my mom and bawling at a Canadian Tire commercial. I couldn’t even speak about the commercial or I would tear up. Anything sentimental would open the floodgates.

Here is the video:

Another reason some women are seen as crazy or over emotional can be from the unsolicited tips, questions and comments from strangers, friends and family. I found this list of what not to say to a pregnant woman from parenting.com. 
The top ones I experienced were:

• You don't look that pregnant! (Trust me...I am.) 
• Are you going to nurse/cloth diaper/co-sleep…(It’s my choice regardless.)
• Can I touch your belly?

Believe me when I say you’d be lucky to be asked permission. Many people seem to think your baby belly is public domain. Imagine rubbing theirs back? I bet it wouldn’t go over well.

In case you are trying to compliment a pregnant woman; here is another list of tips on what may be insulting. It may not seem like a big deal to you, but there are many sensitive subjects! Check it out here from Huffington Post.

This isn’t meant to discourage complimenting a woman at what can be considered the most beautiful part of life, but tread lightly. She means well…try carrying a watermelon under your shirt for months with all the lovely side effects, and forget seeing your feet…

Keep strong mamas, and those who deal with mamas, it will all be worth it!

-A

Frabz.com

Family Photography

Sebastian - 5 days old

Looking at photos from my childhood always springs great memories. I try to preserve moments for my boys as well, which is hard when they move so fast! Since I am no professional, I made sure to ask one to do so.  Since Mason was 11 days old, we have been getting photos done every 3 months. From regular studio shoots to on location, each proposes their fair share of issues. We found a great photographer who we trust, and the boys like. That is always a key factor. Joel of Joel Smith Photography has the patience to wait for the moments that count. He has done all of our photos since our wedding. Check  him out!

Mason - 11 days old

Mason - 3 months old

When Mason was young, it was simple. He didn’t crawl until 10 months, making some of these shots possible.

Sebastian crawled at 5 months and walked at 10…so his photos are much more candid, just to show we did it.

Sebastian - 6 months old

I felt it was and is very important to continue these packages once Sebastian was born.  As the second born myself, there are tons more photos of my older sister. And I get it. There is more time. Each of her firsts was a first for my parents too. Once I came around, it was old hat. Our photos were more like this.

Jenn and I - 1986

It’s a good idea to look up photo ideas before you get some done. This goes for any kind of shoot, but I did this before Mason’s newborn photos since I had no idea what to expect. Babycenter has a great list of  50 amazing newborn photos you should take a peek!

I know I said earlier to put down the devices and engage…but make sure they can relive those moments with you through photos or videos.

-A

Helicopter Parenting 101

Bruce Sallan

One ‘myth’ I find to be entirely true is how coddled the first baby can be. With Mason, I was so careful. I sterilized everything. I baby proofed everything.  If he had a slight fever or cough, we were at the doctor’s. I was paranoid I was going to mess up my little human being. I was one of 'those' helicopter parents, buzzing around trying to save the day every time.

Mason's mess

Thankfully, reality set in quickly. In perfect time, before I had two little monsters running around. Along came Sebastian. This kid gives me a run for my money, and sanity, daily. (It’s a good thing I figured out perfection isn’t necessary.)  He empties cupboards,      tips over boxes and tries to go head first over the couch. My favourite recent dose of Sebastian chaos was when he hung from his high chair tray chin up style just yesterday.

Sebastian isn’t ‘babied’ as much as Mason was. Trying to reverse the helicopter parenting we started is difficult. We’ve taught him to assess if he’s actually hurt after a fall, or if he spills some water, it’s not the end of the world. It will dry.

These were difficult lessons to learn. Here are seven more myths of perfect parenting from psychcentral.com for you to check out. Don't fall victim to them!


Having two busy boys, I've had to keep up…and I’m still running! More chaos to come...

-A

Messy Sebby

Words of Wisdom

Molly Mesnick's Shower

I went to a baby shower this past weekend. They had a book in which you could write advice for the first-time mom. It very much made me think, what would I tell myself 2.5 years ago? I’ve compiled a few tips that I wish I had known, or had listened to, when Mason was born. (And in some cases, when Sebastian was born.)

Cleaning can wait. The laundry, the dishes, the toys, anything, can wait. I knew too this but felt I had to accomplish more than just taking care of the baby. Now I think…WHAT?! More than JUST taking care of the baby. Right, because it’s that simple...give yourself more credit!

Mason - 2 months old

Sleep when the baby sleeps, if at all possible. There is actually science behind it! Check it out. Sleeping at the same time is much easier with one baby at home of course. With Mason, I napped like a champ whenever I could. Once Sebastian came along, I had a newborn and a 19 month old…that was a different story. Take it when you can.

Be present. Put down the phone/tablet/laptop, turn the TV off and enjoy. These moments are so fleeting that you need to soak it all in. This doesn’t mean you need to photograph every second of their life either. Get a few great shots of their first step, the mess they made trying to eat or whatever it may be. Then look up and enjoy.

Sebastian's first steps

I know these all sound cheesy and typical, but they are so easy to forget. Those were the tips I left for my friend. Here is some more great advice I found from cafemom!

What would you tell a first time parent?

-A

Motherhood Myths

Frabz.com

 

If you don't agree with the myths of motherhood, you must be doing it wrong. Maybe you just weren’t cut out for motherhood. OR…you are HUMAN.  

I found a great list on mommyish.com. The highlights that give me flashbacks are below.

Motherhood means being deliriously happy all the time

Delirious? You betcha! Happy? Check! Both simultaneously, 24/7? No way. To assume it’s all going to be sunshine and rainbows is naïve. It is hard work. Sleep deprivation was the hardest for me. At 4am, while I would be rocking my baby back to sleep for the eighth time…he’d smile at me. My first thought was always ‘you're lucky you’re cute.’

Your maternity leave is like a vacation

Maybe if you are vacationing at a resort that has alarms that go off every 3-4 hours and you have to decipher what they mean and how to make it stop…all day and night. Forget relaxing, sleeping, showering and eating regularly. Not happening.

If you’re not completely fulfilled by motherhood, something must be wrong with you

Team Umizoomi

Babies are wonderful. Being a mother has made me a better person. However, I am still an independent thinking, thriving human being. I need more mental stimulation than cooing with my infant, or watching endless episodes of Team Umizoomi (Mason LOVES Team Umizoomi.) and that is ok.

Don’t let mom guilt consume you. Does it all seem scary? Maybe. But it’s the biggest thrill of my life. Watching your children grow, learn and love is all you can ask for.

-A

Boy vs Girl: One vs Two vs Three

As a mom of two boys, the two questions I am asked the most often are:

When are you going to have another baby?

or

Are you going to try for a girl?

Via Momtastic

The truth is…some days I want another baby, other days I have more than I can handle with these two! My response:

“It depends who you ask.”

Hubby isn’t so ‘on-board’ with having another. With time, money and the future pending, he is afraid to take on too much, and rightfully so. I have been on the fence. I love my boys with all my heart, but do occasionally wish I had a little girl of my own. Not to model her after me -or some narcissistic reason like that - but more because the relationship I have with my mother. It’s special. It’s something I can’t imagine sharing with a boy. Who knows. I could be wrong. And I hope I am.

When struggling with whether or not I want another, and how I may feel if it would be another boy, I found a great piece on it from scarymommy.com. 

For the women who are sick of the usual milestone questions:

• When are you getting married?
• When are you going to have a baby?    
• When are you going to have another baby?

Know that we are all right there with you. To those who pose those questions…let’s back off a little ok? We’re busy living our lives here.

-A